Day by day,i'm getting weaker.I could feel the tense,heartbeat faster.It's like I'm carrying a load with me,in my heart.I dunno what to say,I feel really2 confused now,I dunno where my life would take me to..?
The combinations of problems of family,friends,studies,everything.Why shud I feel now?
Perhaps this is one of HIS test for me..I'm getting fed up with all these blue feelings.
I really do hope,I can forget all these when school starts.Hope it won't interrupt drop my studies.Hope that my focus wont go.
Today,I woke up at 11.30 morning.Kind a late after I had a long long conversation with my mom till very late night.Oh yeh,and also my friend,Iz or her full name is Nurul Izdihar.Thanks to the both anyway,for giving some useful advices,keep my spirit up.Also MAYO.My gendot comel friend. :)
All of u guys have coloured my world,but it's up to me to rearrange what colour it is.
Right now,my life is totally sucks.Looking for a new fresh life so that I can move on to next better life.Forget the past is the past.OH MY GOD! My homework!! I didn't complete all of them yet.Damn it!
I run my focused when I'm doing my homework.Can't concentrate any all of 'em.So,I gave up.
One whole day,I just design n update my new blog.Maybe I will finish it after this.
When school has start,I really hope I don't cry..I'm so worried condition of my family.For the information,I kind a from broken home,but my parents aren't separated,but it's too complicated to tell.
I don't want to run from the truth or reality.I have to face it after all.
What to say now eh?I ran out of ideas.BLANK.Ha,after I spend full time in front of my computer,then my sis got back for her work.She asked me to go out for a dinner.So,I said,sure.We went for a dinner at NOODLE STATION .I chose noodle soup kot.Then we lepak-ing together.Then went home.same old same old.
Now,here I am,sitting again with blank mind in front of the computer while posting new entry. :(
Let's talk about my mother.The pillar of my strength.My everything..She supports me in everything I do.Always give me so WISE advices.I felt very sad when she told me to study smart for her and for my future..She said those words in the car,when we were on the way to bookshop.I was very touched at that moment.I can't make her dissapointed..But it's a little bit gave effect to me what they've done.The
argument was still fresh in my mind.I ask Allah n to myself,Is it could be worse?The questions are keep playing in my mind.What if I fail to fulfill my family's dreams..?aahh..sometimes I wanted to give up on this life but I can't..Too much obstacles.:( :(.
These hard times are too much pain to me..Too many reasons.Too many obstacles.Too many tests.
Life isn't we expected it to be..It's like a wheel.Sometimes we're up,sometimes we're down.That's the best phrase to describe LIFE. :).
Motivate yourself to become a good person.Be a strong person.STRONG.like a steel.
Guess that's all,I will return to hostel the day after tomorrow.SO sad to leave my mother to be alone... :'(
God bless her..Amin..
.jasz.
