Saturday, March 21, 2009

Going back

Here I am,10.45 am to be exact..Going back to hostel.With a new hope new traget.
I will be back in 29th May.I didn't get to see her,so I really hope she's doing well,and good luck to her.
Already packed up my things,just wait to leave only.
I'm going to miss this blog.Many things to do after going back..Many things to catch up also.I can't be "leka"..hehe..
I also want to wish to my other best friend,Iz.Good luck to you dear.Dun't ever give up..and also don't be just like me..who always wanted to give up..hehe :D
That's all..papai..see u on the next holiday.. :)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Obstacles



Day by day,i'm getting weaker.I could feel the tense,heartbeat faster.It's like I'm carrying a load with me,in my heart.I dunno what to say,I feel really2 confused now,I dunno where my life would take me to..?
The combinations of problems of family,friends,studies,everything.Why shud I feel now?
Perhaps this is one of HIS test for me..I'm getting fed up with all these blue feelings.
I really do hope,I can forget all these when school starts.Hope it won't interrupt drop my studies.Hope that my focus wont go.

Today,I woke up at 11.30 morning.Kind a late after I had a long long conversation with my mom till very late night.Oh yeh,and also my friend,Iz or her full name is Nurul Izdihar.Thanks to the both anyway,for giving some useful advices,keep my spirit up.Also MAYO.My gendot comel friend. :)
All of u guys have coloured my world,but it's up to me to rearrange what colour it is.
Right now,my life is totally sucks.Looking for a new fresh life so that I can move on to next better life.Forget the past is the past.OH MY GOD! My homework!! I didn't complete all of them yet.Damn it!
I run my focused when I'm doing my homework.Can't concentrate any all of 'em.So,I gave up.
One whole day,I just design n update my new blog.Maybe I will finish it after this.
When school has start,I really hope I don't cry..I'm so worried condition of my family.For the information,I kind a from broken home,but my parents aren't separated,but it's too complicated to tell.
I don't want to run from the truth or reality.I have to face it after all.

What to say now eh?I ran out of ideas.BLANK.Ha,after I spend full time in front of my computer,then my sis got back for her work.She asked me to go out for a dinner.So,I said,sure.We went for a dinner at NOODLE STATION .I chose noodle soup kot.Then we lepak-ing together.Then went home.same old same old.
Now,here I am,sitting again with blank mind in front of the computer while posting new entry. :(
Let's talk about my mother.The pillar of my strength.My everything..She supports me in everything I do.Always give me so WISE advices.I felt very sad when she told me to study smart for her and for my future..She said those words in the car,when we were on the way to bookshop.I was very touched at that moment.I can't make her dissapointed..But it's a little bit gave effect to me what they've done.The
argument was still fresh in my mind.I ask Allah n to myself,Is it could be worse?The questions are keep playing in my mind.What if I fail to fulfill my family's dreams..?aahh..sometimes I wanted to give up on this life but I can't..Too much obstacles.:( :(.
These hard times are too much pain to me..Too many reasons.Too many obstacles.Too many tests.
Life isn't we expected it to be..It's like a wheel.Sometimes we're up,sometimes we're down.That's the best phrase to describe LIFE. :).

Motivate yourself to become a good person.Be a strong person.STRONG.like a steel.
Guess that's all,I will return to hostel the day after tomorrow.SO sad to leave my mother to be alone... :'(
God bless her..Amin..

.jasz.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Break-up




Can't believe this could be happen to me..

What a lousy day n holiday.This picture means a lot to me.This picture was taken on my sister's wedding.The green one is my best friend or shud i say ex-best friend?

She means a lot to me,we've been through good n bad times together.I still can't accept our friendship would be end like this..

How could she just said "entah..entah.." everytime I talked to her.I tried to share my problems with her but it seemed such a waste now.

God,I still can't believe.It feels like I have no faith in anyone anymore.argh..how frustrated I am right now..

She seems very very busy this lately,but I'm as her best friend still showed some care by calling her,asking her wether her fine or not.but her..?she doesn't care anymore..I was..is this could be the end..?

Was I something I said?or Was I something I did..?

we've been knowing each other for a such long time..I guess it's been nearly 4 years we've been such best friends forever.I couldn't believe either it will happened just like that.SNAP!..END..just like that?well at least she have to say something..

Maybe I was too overreacted somehow still I still care about her..

Well,people change through time right..?Why everyone is changes but I still the same?Or I didn't realise that I also changed?

As some people said..Time will heal everything,but not my heart.I was totally heartbroken as she said nothing n blurr..I really dunno what to say or do right now..So frustrated..never been so frustrated in my life before..

It's like losing someone ,one of the people that I loved the most,besides my family..

Because we're sharing every secrets we had..Our mothers also already knowing each other.

All I can say now,life goes on no matter what.This year is a big year to me,I'm going to sit the biggest examination that will change my life.SPM.

Uhm..I really need someone that can support me now.Maybe this is one of the test that Allah gave to me for this year..

Patient one of the best medicine.She is my soulmate.My best friend.My good friend.My angle.My devil.My twin.My everything.She understands me very well,no one could understands me better than she did.She's always number one on my top friend list.But what could I say now eh..?This happened just a glimpse.

I hope I could turn back time,back to our sweet old memories when we were both young and naughty so on..

My like kinda sucks right now.Really2 sucks.All our memories are still fresh in my mind.I won't forget them as always will be there..

All i can say now,that's the best of me as long we've been knowing each other.

Trust me,no one can replaced her.I can't find someone that perfect like her..


This song is dedicate to her :


Daniel Powter : Best Of Me


I wasn't mean the wrong way
Won't you do me the right way
Where you gonna be tonight
Coz I won't stay too long

Maybe you're the light for me
When you talk to me it strikes me
Won't somebody help me
Coz I don't feel too strong

Was there something that I said
Was there something that I did
Or the combination I broke that did me have

You know I'm hoping you sing alone
Though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be the wind just nothing left to say
You know that someone those spin again
When you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be the wind just nothing left for me
And I hate the thought finally been erased
Baby that's the best of me

Everything's behind you
But the whole place I sit besides you
Living in every moment
Have I wasted all your time

Was there something that I said
Was there something that I did
Or the combination I broke that did me have

You know I'm hoping you sing alone
Though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be the wind just nothing left to say
You know that someone those spin again
When you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be the wind just nothing left for me
And I hate the thought finally been erased
Baby that's the best of me
Baby that's the best of me

You know I'm hoping you sing alone
Though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be the wind just nothing left to say
You know that someone those spin again
When you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be the wind just nothing left for me
And I hate the thought finally been erased
Baby that's the best of me


Thank you for everything mate.U means a lot to me.Nothing can compared to you..